Best of the worst


Maya Kopczak

The top three “best worst” films and their movie posters, graphic by Maya Kopczak

We all have guilty pleasures when it comes to the movies we watch, whether it be the occasional rom-com or a film like Sharknado. Whatever you may be into, I’ve compiled a list of films that are so bad that they’ll rot your brain, but you’ll also rewatch them a hundred times. Some of the movies may not be bad in the regular sense, as there is a spectrum of course of just how bad movies can be. I have them sorted from best to worst of the worst.


  1. “Sugar & Spice:” This list starts off simple and light with a fun heist film. The story follows a group of girls after their friend reveals the shocking news that she’s pregnant. The girls gather to support each other, even if it includes robbing a bank.  As a big fan of this movie, it pains me to put it on the list with the likes of some of the other amazing abominations. Although this movie is super charming and fun, you can’t deny how absolutely amazingly horrible it is. It’s a 2000s comedy after all. It’s a campy and fun movie that doesn’t take itself too seriously, as you can tell by the writing. With some mild 2000s homophobia and a lot of girl power, the movie is really something worthy of cult classic recognition.
  2. “Jesus Christ Vampire Hunter:” Moving onto the more seriously stupid movies, Jesus Christ and vampires targeting lesbians? Sounds like the basis for an amazingly horrible low-budget movie. I forgot to mention there are also musical numbers in it. The action scenes throughout the movie are actually pretty fun and well done, complete with a luchador. There’s a lot to enjoy throughout the film, and it’s pretty easy to find online if you wish to see Jesus saving lesbians from vampires.
  3. “Repo! The Genetic Opera:” A horror movie musical might actually be one of my favorite ideas ever, mix it with comic book elements and you have the perfect mixture of awful and amazing. With an amazing performance from Paris Hilton herself, and everyone else in the movie acting like their life depends on how well they play this role, the movie is truly a sight to see. The movie is based in the year 2056, after a worldwide pandemic has killed off 99% of the population, and made all the others remaining to get organ transplants on a payment plan. The company providing these transplants is Geneco, run by a money-hungry man who doesn’t want to ever miss a payment. As Paris Hilton would say, “That’s hot.”
  4. “The Stuff:” Alien ice cream, need I say more? When an addictive new ice cream comes onto the market, consumers can’t get enough of it. But there soon becomes an issue when people consuming the ice cream begin to have their minds taken over by the tasty treat, and they’ll do anything to get more of it. It’s a cheesy science fiction movie that’s so “80s” it’s almost a little too much. The dialogue is odd and the tone shifts quite a lot throughout the movie, but the biggest issue is that the problem is all because a random dude saw a substance coming out of a mine and decided to try it. Seriously, who does that? It’s a fun film to watch with friends or even by yourself,  especially if you like a good and trashy 80s B-horror flick.
  5. “Chopping Mall:” Teens stuck in a mall with only killer robots to hear them scream. The robots were invented to keep the mall safe, but what happens when they malfunction and go on a killing spree? It’s a typical cheesy horror flick with really good action and a decent plot. It was filmed in a real California mall, and the head of security was really upset about the filming. Originally released under the title “Killbots,” it performed horribly in theaters, and was eventually rereleased with the more fitting title, “Chopping Mall.”

5.” Slumber Party Massacre 2:” A killer only equipped with a drill appears in Courtney’s dreams, but what happens when her dreams start to affect her reality? “Slumber Party Massacre” is one of my personal favorite movie franchises ever, not even ironically. Yes, half the girls in this may look about 30, but trust me when I say this movie is about a Freddy Krueger-like killer, that’s after a high school girl on a trip with her friends. Barely correlated with the first installment, the sister of the survivor of the first movie tries to go on a trip with her friends, but a strange man keeps showing up in her dreams. The killer comes equipped with a guitar-drill thing and performs music while also performing acts of murder, which is undeniably pretty funny. It also has one of the best, and probably only, exploding giant pimple scenes in movie history.

  1. “Troll 2:” This movie is called “Troll” with absolutely zero trolls to be seen, only goblins. The setting of the movie is in a little town aptly named Nilbog, get it? It’s goblin spelled backward. With the not-so-subtle name, the town is full of goblins, waiting to turn our characters into their favorite treat, plants. It’s absolutely awful, and I can hardly defend this movie. The writing is bad, the acting is bad, and there are no redeeming qualities. But somehow it’s one of the funniest movies ever, especially for a movie night with friends. Over the years it’s become a loved cult classic. People embraced its awfulness, and it even got a documentary about the making of it called “Best Worst Movie.” Does it live up to its name? Watch it and decide.
  2. “Miami Connection:” Set in 1987, it’s a motorcycle ninja movie for the ages. Sure it’s absolutely awful, but when you hear the lyrical artistry that is “Against the Ninja,” you know you physically can’t hate it, even if you want to. When it first came out it totally flopped and was unseen for a while, until in 2012 it was restored by Drafthouse Films and has since gained a cult following. This movie is most enjoyable in theaters, but other than that, it’s easily found online.
  3. “Hobgoblins:” This one is sort of like “Gremlins” cheap brother that no one talks about. Hobgoblins are about these, well, hobgoblins who escape from a vault and cause havoc and ultimately death. The hobgoblin’s puppet design is absolutely amazing, but what’s even more amazing is the actors attempting to wrestle the puppets and make it look like they’re putting up a real fight. The movie is a lot more enjoyable when you watch it as a Rifftrax film and not by itself, but if you want to watch it all by itself, stuck with your own thoughts, who am I to judge?
  4. “Sharks of the Corn:” If you liked Sharknado but thought that maybe it should’ve been even lower budget, then “Sharks of the Corn” is for you. Great white sharks are killing in cornfields, and the police must find out who is behind it. It’s the most recent on the list, coming out in 2021, following a man killing people to sacrifice to the shark goddess. It’s definitely a rough watch and you have to really enjoy trashy cinema to like this, otherwise, it’s totally unwatchable. But if you have a taste for trashy horror, then run to Prime Video and watch the magic that is, “Sharks of the Corn.”

There are more movies out there that I couldn’t get into, but if you have a craving for cheesy b horror or a silly heist film, look no further than this list. Let me know what films you think should’ve been included.